The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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