I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
