what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You're a waste of cheezeits
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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