I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize