i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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