I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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