Its about making memories worth repressing
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize