Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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