I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Barsexuality is the new black.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
