hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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