At least make sure they are 18
Why
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
