just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
