I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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