I think I just saw someone hide a body.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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