I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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