Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
