Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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