I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
