Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
