when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
