It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
