If i come over, it means nothing
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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