I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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