Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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