someone threw a dead crab at me
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
