Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
