my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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