I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I am puke
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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