My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize
