They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
