One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
