Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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