I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
