I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
sarcasm needs its own font
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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