apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
