Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
