well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
