): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Randomize
