I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
