Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
