My hand turned me down
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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