have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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