I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
