I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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