Just cropdusted the office
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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