come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
