That's intense
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
