I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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