so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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