in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
