PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
