U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
