Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I got inside last night via doggy door
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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