I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
