You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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