no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
