So many bounce houses so little time
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize