I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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