Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
