ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
