either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
