Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
