oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
