boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
