it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
