how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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